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Of Vampires and Super Heroes
Did you hear the good news? Lenard ran up to Zak, who was getting stuff out of his locker, and shoved him in his excitement. Zapblapoman finally quit. He finally got the message that we dont like him.
Zak picked up his books that fell and looked at Lenard. How is that good news?
What do you mean? Hes gone. That means that hes not destroying Edmonton and the people who live within.
Zak sighed. Im not in the mood to argue this right now.
Woah, whats up with you?
Nothing. Theres just a few problems with my life right now. Thats all.
Are you sure you dont wanna talk about anything?
Dont worry. Im sure itll sort itself out.
Lenard knew that there was nothing he could say to get Zak to talk. He never talked about his personal life. All right. Thats cool. So, what are you planning
Chapter 27: Hiatus
The car ride home was silent. TIP focused on the rode and ZBO-Man focused on what had happened in the last few months and particularly what the woman said to him. Take off your costume. Maybe you can get candy as a normal human being. The Uber Guild of Villains was ruining his life. No. The Uber Guild of Villains ruined his life. If Zapblapoman didnt do something, his friends would start getting flamed as well.
Look man, TIP said as he dropped ZBO-Man off. Dont let these people get you down. You know that youre not a bad person. You have to show them that these advertisements are fake. I mean, you have made mistakes. Every hero does, especially when theyre starting out. I havent yet but Im sure I will. So, go to sleep now. Let it sit for a night.
Zapblapoman didnt respond. He just closed the door and slowly walked to the Lab of Electrocution. Inside was dark. He took off his costume and went to bed.
Chapter 26: Anti-Shockaganda
Zak went back into the room and waited for Mr. Kittler. He finally came in a minute before the bell rang. Zak, he said when he saw him. What are you doing here?
I was having troubles with the homework.
Mr. Kittler looked at Zak with a concerned expression. How so?
I just couldnt figure out how to solve questions thirty through forty.
What do you mean? You just use the formullet.
Really? Its that simple.
Well, yeah. It is that simple. Thats why I taught you it, so you can use it on any question youre faced with.
Oh I thought would hmm. Okay. Now I feel stupid.
You should. You really, really should. The bell rang. Well class is starting soon. Do you have any other questions?
No, that was all.
All right. Then take a seat. Nice costume by the way. Im surprised you wore it.
CowardiceJames hid behind the blast shield and ducked as body parts flew past him. Another hero tried to save the day by covering a grenade with his body. Bullets whizzed past the shelter and the sound of small explosions filled the air. Heroics win you medals in wars, but then again, why would you care when youre already dead.
James grabbed his gun, slowly crawled to the edge of the shelter, and peaked out at the battlefield. He was one of the few survivors. The enemy line slowly advanced to reap the spoils of yet another victory. He crept back to safety and inventoried his supplies. He had ten bullets left, a full canteen of water, enough food to last two days, three if he ate it sparingly, and sack of twenty unused grenades, which he found by scavenging the dead bodies after previous battles were over with.
He was careful to remain out of sight of the advancing enemy, yet with enough clearance to accurately chuck grenades into the battlefield. One by one he pulled the pins out of the g
Dinosaurs and DragonsOn a scale of evolution, Tyrannosaurus Rex may be seen as an adolescent compared to the more evolved, and experienced hunter, Dragon. One day, while circling above the jungle, Dragon witnessed another fatal hunting accident involving two T-Rexes colliding with each other. Dragon had seen a lot of such cases with inexperienced T-Rexes all over Pangaea and noticed that there was rarely a mishap with the wiser and more evolved dragons. With this deduction, he concluded that all Tyrannosaurus Rexes should at least wait until they evolve into cunning Velociraptors.
Dragon talked with the other dragons and they too had been noticing the surprising number of T-Rex related hunting accidents. With a quick motion and unanimous decision, it was decided that no Tyrannosaurus Rex was allowed to hunt without the supervision of a Velociraptor nearing his next evolutionary upgrade.
A century passed and once more the exact amount of hunting accidents as before was occurring except this time in Velocira
A Stupid Halloween Story
The wind was fiercely blowing outside. There was no snow yet, just sharp coldness. Zapblapoman thought of a way to keep warm without having to wear a heavy winter coat. By infusing the fabric of his suit with heat generating material, all he had to do was supply electricity to it and it would keep him warm no matter how low the temperature got. Hed have to where a mask, though, with the same material embedded in it.
Flurada came to his door on the third Saturday of October. What are you panning on doing tonight? he asked.
Well, I was planning on patrolling until about seven, and then I was going to come home and relax. Why?
I was thinking that you should come with me tonight and we will walk some residential streets looking for break-ins.
Yeah, thats what I have been doing lately. Its nice and peaceful when nothing is going on, and a lot of fun when you spot a burglary. They don&
Boardom KillsIn my younger years, I liked to go to random protests.
Its not fair! the crowd shouted.
Whats going on? I asked one of the protestors.
Were protesting the lack of funding for the arts.
Hows the protest going so far?
Well, weve got our cleverly drawn signs, every once in a while we stop and shout out motivational protesting chants, and we parade around, sometimes in random patterns and other times in uniform circles.
Sounds cool, how do I sign-up?
You dont, Ill just give you this extra sign and you can start milling around.
Yeah, do you like it? I made that one myself.
I think it would be even better if you spelt bored right.
Why? How do you spell it?
Oh. Oh well, its yours now.
I walked out to the middle of the protestors.
The Man Who Finally Went SaneTell me, when did this all begin? the psychiatrist asked.
When it began? What do you mean? Its always been like this. Greg was sitting on a brown leather couch in a mostly brown office. Above him, light brown imprints of autumn leaves covered the surface of the ceiling. The bookshelves were made from maple wood, the hardwood floor was made of bubinga wood, and the wide desk was made of mahogany. Light glowed through beige curtains and shone on a bonsai tree resting on the corner of the desk.
Youve always felt this way towards them?
Oh, well, no, not always. But they always felt this way towards me.
How can you tell? They dont move of their own free will, they dont even have brains to think with. Theyre just trees.
Theyre just trees? Greg looked at her. The other day, I was walking on a path through a park. Nobody was around. I walked past a large spruce tree standing alone
Chapter 24: Another Super Hero
Did he not stop the electricity on time? No, he didnt even get to push the button. He turned to Evil Hamburger to see him grinning broadly.
You tricked me.
Did you really think I would tell you how the detonator really worked?
I probably shouldnt have.
My whole plan was to get you to destroy HUB Mall yourself. I enjoy the irony that the super hero, sworn to protect the world, killed many people, students, no less.
If you planned for me to destroy HUB, then why did you make a detonator for the bomb?
Take a look inside that detonator.
Zapblapoman opened a flap on the detonator. It was hallow. I dont understand.
The electricity from the D battery was the only thing keeping the triggering mechanism from going off.
Evil Hamburger started putting on his non-conductible uniform. You are now faced with a dilemma, capture the villain, or save the screaming victims to your wrat
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